Taking A Stand For Sex Workers And Personal Liberty

Sorry that I did not update my blog. I was busy more than I expected with MyStarterBlog, my sites and life. But, I still need to create more sites using MSB.

But, I was surprised this weekend that I only wrote 2 posts in the month of May. When I looked, I remembered my post Can Strippers Make Money Online.

Reading the post again, it picked again my curiosity about sex workers and that industry. Plus, I needed a break anyway and wanted to know more.

Yes, it's paid sex but it's also about personal liberty of a person to do what they want with their body. Plus, you have the business side that I intrigued me the most. What can I say, I see niche market everywhere now. It's a pain  I must  support of being business minded.

Again, don't talk to me about the morality angle until you know more about the facts. Plus, a lot of remaining misconceptions were dropped for me. Since it's mostly women that are sex workers, I will use them in my example.

Also, this post is for mature adults only.

What is a sex worker?

The 3 main types of sex workers I will discuss are: strippers,  erotic masseuses and escorts. The last 2 are mostly unknown to the general public including me until I started doing my research.

Depending on were you live, the level of the sexual act might change. I will go with Quebec since it's what I learned from reading the forums.

Stripper: In a semi-private booth, the stripper will do a "contact dance". While dancing during a song, you can touch her breast only and her sit on on you. She can't be completely naked(keep her bottom). Or she can be completely naked but you can't touch her. If you do, a bouncer will touch you but you won't like that.  lol

Erotic masseuse: That one is more intimate because both parties are naked. She will start with massage using her naked body to relax you and end with the "happy ending".  You can touch the breasts  but won't have any fellatio or penetration.

Escort: This is the full service so you can have fellatio or penetration.

In theory, that's what happening. But it can go further or not. Because stripper/erotic massage establishment don't like trouble with the law, they will kick out any worker that go beyond that. Other might not care at all.

Adult movies talents are known and more accepted by the general public for doing a similar act: Being paid to have sex. In a way, it's the hypocrisy of our society.

Is it legal?

When doing my researched, I was surprised to learn that paying for sex is legal in Canada. In the US, I know it's legal in a few state like the ranch near Las Vegas. Heck, one of the sex worker was even interviewed by Oprah. Yes, Oprah. Can you believe it?

However in Canada, you have a few laws that a sex worker must follow. Some are okay and some are not up to date with what is happening in the real world.

For example, a sex worker can't go on a street(public places) and ask/bother potential clients walking/driving by. It's normal since children might be in the streets in the day time. At least, for those children brave enough not to watch TV or play video games that went outside.

Also, you can't maintain a bordello or invite clients to an apartment. This law is kind of not up to date since agencies/sex workers bypass that law. I'm sure that if done properly, it can be done discretely.

Like any business, if it disturbs the neighbors(like too much noise in a apartment), a complaint could be done. You could have a band practicing all night thus bordering the neighbors too. Respect is a must in any cases.

Also, a person can't profit from another person's sex work earnings(pimp). Again, that law is old since you have escorts agency operating in every city. They just "play" around the law. An agency is the employer of the sex worker thus send her clients. The agency will handle the logistic like taking calls, find the places for the meeting, protection, driver, medical tests, pay for the publicity on the Internet/newspaper...

However, if a sex worker gives 50-65% to the agency, then, it's not really fair in my humble opinion considering the type of intimate work they do. I even read a sex worker story charging $200 but having to give $130 to the agency.

To compensate, a sex worker might ask money for extras acts. I guest the agency need more profits in case they get arrested and pay for lawyers. By changing the law,  the sex worker will have a better compensation or way to negotiate with the agency. Plus, that money will be declare as income.

That's why many escorts  become independents or indy to keep more of the profit. For me, those are business minded women in my book. They saw a paying niche and offer to fulfill it their way.

Since it's mostly women, will they arrest the children(16-17 old) of a single mom because they profit from her work or a working living boyfriend? Yes, I know it 's extreme but you get my point.

The law should be updated for the reality.

Even law enforcement tolerate it. They might send undercover cops to find if minors are involved.

About the sex workers

I can understand protecting women being forced by someone else to be sex workers. In fact, I'm all for that. Even more so when it's to protect minors. If a sex worker want to get out of this business, I don't have any trouble with that too.

But from what I found is they are many sex workers that do it because they want to. They might like the sex and of course the money, pay a credit card debt faster, pay for post high school or have a better lifestyle thus do it part time or full time... In any case, it's their personal liberty.

That's why I draw the line. Why should personal liberties be dictated by someone else when consenting adults agreed to terms. If it's done respectfully, why not?

Those that are oppose to this on moral/religious ground must not be opened minded about sex. It's okay but it's their personal choices for them too.

If you think about it, did not myself,  a professional escort is the ultimate feminist. She decide what she want to do with her body,  own her sexuality and not afraid to find her boundaries. That's pure women power!

Yet, some women/groups want to protect all sex workers even those that do it because they want to.

I'm sure some women will write to tell me that many sex workers were abused when they were young. I don't doubt that and deeply feel for them. I even  hate the cowards that did it.  But it's not all of them.  I'm talking about women that do like to have sex and the money here.

With this kind of thinking of protecting all of them, they should also close all fast food restaurants to protect all fat people.  Yes, I'm fat too even if I lost 21 pounds so far.   But sometimes, I want to eat a pizza or poutine because I want one and I would be mad if I could not. The same apply to the cigarette or alcohol industries.  How many, because one parent was drunk, were abused children?   But in the end, it's a choice!

It's also like telling a big movie actor or sport player that earn millions that they can't be paid for something they like to do.

But how many people work in a "regular" job they don't even like but do it to get paid? Yes, many sex workers don't like it too but it's a way for them to get paid.

Because it's a special kind of service, most won't work everyday. Some indy can even afford to take a month off. They are human beings and not machine so they must also take a break too like everyone else. It's good for them to recharge the batteries.

A sex worker will have shift but will not work 100% of that time. Depending on her financial goals for the day, she might want 2-4 clients per day.

For Firefly tv show fans, Inara Serra character was a Companion(Wikipedia).

...which is the 26th century equivalent of a courtesan or oiran. Like her Renaissance counterparts, Inara enjoys high social standing. Her presence confers a degree of legitimacy and social acceptance the crew of Serenity would not have without her on board.

The clients

For that part of my research, I was, again, surprised to find local forums in English an French that will review local sex workers. For some, it's an hobby and a way to compare notes.

For example, if an escort is in it for the money only, the client will write a review warning others to stay away. It's also a sign that it's not for her and she should either accept/own it or get out of this business and find other ways to make money.

Often, a good review will be welcome for an escort that like her work and not just for the money. It bring her new business too. She can also want no reviews to keep her work more secret because of the prejudice she would face.

For some clients, it's a way to find/experiment their sexual curiosity. Not everyone are at the same sexual level and it's normal.

Another type of client are those with a physical problem. They have needs thus it's one way for them to get it fulfill.

The last one, but rare,  are those with sexual problem/intimacy issues. They could be treated with the help of  a sexologist but the practical part is by using a professional escort.  I also added virgins (18+ of course) that want a "sure thing" or might also have intimacy issues to work on  for the older one's.

The married clients

I decided to make a special section for them instead. It include non-married couples too.

You will also have the married man who is looking to satisfy a sexual need that he does not get from his partner.  He may be ashamed to reveal that part of his sexual side or the partner might not like to do it.  Some will tell it to their partners while others have to  hide it from them. From what I can read, few tell it to their partners.

It's a shame because those that told it seemed to have a better home/sex life since at the end of the day they go home to a loving and understanding partner. Some even include the partner into the mix.

For those partners that might get jealous, here is something to think about : The sex worker is being paid thus it is a business transaction for her and not emotional for the most part. But, it could happen if he does not get the emotional side at home too. Now, if your man would sleep with one of your girlfriend and fall in love with her, it's another whole matter and a more serious problem for you.

Those partners reading this might want to ask their men if he has needs(weird or not). You may or not like the answer but I'm sure you would build a better partnership.  If that need build up overtime because it's not satisfied, then it will blow in your face sooner or later. That's just my opinion from man's point of view.

But the downside of using an escort is that will drain the pocket book and will need to be taken into account in the budget.

One last thing on this: I also found a site(French) where men and women want to experiment with others looking for the same need. It's free but the risk is greater than seeing an escort because of the higher potential of emotional bond that could happen. Those are not only singles on that site.

Love and Work

Some sex workers do have boyfriends that they really love.  Like I said before, a sex worker is not a machine thus has emotional needs too. For her, it's harder because her boyfriend must learn to accept her work. He must differentiate between love and work.

On that, swingers are a good example because they make the difference between sex and love. Money does not even come into account in their cases.

Health issues

Like with anything else, you have health risk. But from what I understood, most are checked every 3 months.  Like with computers, you are only safe for a limited time after the last update since new computer viruses appear every day. If she get the test the same day and you are her first client, you are save but is she from you?

Also, at least in the forums, most escorts will make it a rule for the client to wear a condom. Otherwise, she will leave.

Let's take another angle from the bar scene.

Man A is infected but don't know and has one night stand(unprotected) with Woman 1. Woman 1 then has one night stand with Man B. Man B sleep with  Woman 2 and infect her. Woman 2 then sleep with her partner Man 3 and so on and so on... Like you can see, you have risk there too.

The virus came from someone but it does not mean it's from a sex worker. How many "regular" people get check every 3 months?

The money

In Canada, in theory, a sex worker should declare all the earnings. But because the way the law is written, it's risky if the taxman start to dig deeper. By modifying the laws on where/how to announce the service, the government could make a lot more money.

Also, the sex worker could be able to have access to other service like a loan when buying a car, house, renting ...They won't be afraid to spend the money and have to explain their lifestyle to the taxman. Some might like those changes thus remove part of the stress/stigma they face everyday.

Since we are in a recession,  we should also look out of the box to get new money from the oldest job in the world.

How Much?

All prices are in Canadian dollars and taken from the agency or indy websites/forums. To give you an example here in Quebec city:

To have have a semi private contact dance with a stripper, it's $15-20 per song.

To have have an erotic massage, it's $60 for 30 minutes and $90 for 60 minutes. She might charge $20 extra for more things.

To have have a full service with an escort,  it's  $90 for 30 minutes session and $120-140 for 60 minutes.   She might charge $20 extra for more things. Buying more hours in bulk won't cost less. If you boss tell you: Can you work 5 hours but I will pay you 2.5? I don't think you would that.

The only example  I found in the forum was a client  who wanted an escort for 8 hours. He mentioned that the escort agreed to charge less for him since it was not 8 hours of straight sex. He was older so needed time to recharge.

In Montreal, it will cost more since it cost more to live there.

Fans of Dr. Who will remember his female companion Rose Tyler (Billie Piper) who now stars in Secret Diary Of A Call Girl. Asking for an high price escort will cost way more.

Mmmm? seeing the rates they charge an hour, I should consider a new line of work until my sites start to get indexed or #1 in Google. Steve The Irish Male Escort. Wait!  It won't be fair to the other guys. lol

The Lingo

I won't replicate it here but while reading the forums and reviews, I had a second browser of the terms used. It's weird at first but I got used to it quickly for the popular one. The 2 forums had a list of the terms.

The sources

To better understand those working  as sex workers, I found 3 sites.

1. Chez Stella(English, French) where you will find many involved(sex-workers, public-health researchers and sympathizers) around sex workers

2. Union des TDS du Quebec (French only and not finished yet) who was founded by 5 professional escorts tired of seeing only the bad side shown in the media and wanting to keep their rights of doing what they want/love.

3. The other end of the spectrum, you have LACLES(English, French). They want to eliminate that industry without taking into considerations sex workers rights and clients needs. They want to criminalize the clients.

The media

When you see reports on TV, newspaper, radio or web, you mostly see the bad side of that industry. They always take woman that was exploited but rarely a woman that like it.

We had a  radio station show that interviewed an erotic masseuse  a few weeks ago. I had already started doing basic research and it confirmed what I had found. She like her work but had to hide it the first 4 months  from her boyfriend. He now knows and accept it. It's now been 2 years they are together.

Conclusion

Wow! I must say that I learned more than expected about this industry and many prejudice felt.

I will make it short: Yes, it's a personal intimate business but still a business.

You may agree or disagree with the sex workers industry and I'm okay with that.  But I believe more in personal liberty and the right to make  money from something you want/love to do for whatever reasons.

Paid or not, people will have sex one way or another.

I hope I did not missed something. If I did you may ask me and will try to answer those questions I deemed of value and if I have time too.

P.S.1 I did not mentioned male escort in this but should they be protect by the LACLES too. Poor defenseless men

P.S. It's my longest post ever(3000+ words). Sorry about that but did not expect to write a lot of information at first and did not want to split it even if I could. It did take a long time to write too.