Hard To Find A Good Man?

"Hard To Find A Good Man": This is another thing I hear/read sometimes on dating profiles. Yes, I'm still a bachelor and still looking for that special lady that will be my soul mate. But, this post is not about me but about some men that make me ashamed to be in the same species.

You see, in last last few months, I had a chance to talk to many women to find that special lady to live the rest of my life with. But since I'm open to having women friends at the same time, I did not mind to talk to younger and humm... , more experienced to be polite, ladies. Why not use the many dating systems I'm on to it's potential? That's what I do and I did make a few women friends along the way.

A common nasty thing

In most cases, I guest they find in me a sympathetic ear and trustworthy because many of them shared their troubles and most private darker secrets with me. I don't mind but I often get hungry inside of me when I ear the hurtful things men did to them.

The more I talk to women, the more it was more common that I would had think at first. Those men don't have respect for others anymore. Yet, some of them had good paying jobs. But, it's not about money but control of others for them.

Heck! they are not men but the lowest of the lowest of any living form in the universe.

Are the past events defining you?

Because of their hurtful past, many women can't handle well the fact that a man can be nice to them as a partner or just a male friend. I know that for a fact(friend part)! I'm not  mean and hate to write this, but I call them "broken women".

They are on the defensive(subconsciously knowing it or not) with men from the start and who can blame them. They might think men all leave them but maybe it's them that sabotage the relation too in some way. Of course, not all the time but with good man.

But like someone told me recently:

2 persons survived being in a concentration camp: one is traumatized for the rest of his life while the other write books, do seminars... It's not the experience that forge us. It's the way that we assume and live through it.

In a way, he is right. It does not make what happen okay to those women, far from that, but it's not an excuse either to lose faith in all men.

Some of those women told me that yes, the experience they survived left psychological scares but they don't let it stopped them to find happiness with the next man.

Plus, if they show by their action that they are a victims and not survivors, they will never past that level. In fact, they might often redo the pattern in some cases by attracting the wrong type of men for them.

Some of them have a great potential to become more if they just changed their mindset. It's a slow process but possible from what the survivors told me.

Now, when a good guy arrives in a "broken woman" life, what kind of chance is there for him and their relation(any kind). If she had 4-5 ahole before him, can she give him the benefit of the doubt? It's all coming back to mindset and seeing herself as a survivor and not a victim anymore.

Hard to find a good man?

You might think it's hard to find a good man. Yes and no.

No, because they are around you but you never took a second look or a step back.

Yes, it's harder but is he a good man for... you?

A few months back, Dr. Phil had ladies searching for a partner. One lady stood up and said she had 100 criteria. Of course, she is still alone since no man can come close to that.

One of the expert ladies on dating that day mentioned that most women find a man with more than 51%(bottom) of criteria on their list. The point is that the more criteria you have, the more difficult it will be.  She did say that you must have a minimum on your list that are not negotiable. It's normal too have a minimum of criteria thus the rest are bonus for you. ;)

The same goes for us men too: I heard a lot of good women but they were not for me or me for her.

But where?

To give you an example, many told me that 90% of men on Lavalife Voice just want one thing even if they are in the Serious category. Maybe I will make a post about Lavalife Voice later because their is more to that subject.

It still  leaves 10% of serious men on LavaLife Voice. Now,  you have to click with them to see if he is a good man for you and that's another thing.

Btw, I'm considered a good man but too young or old for some ladies ;) .  We just did not clicked together. That's normal so maybe the next lady will be the one for me and I for her! At least, they say that my heart is in the right place, serious in my search and have goals in my life.

Yes, we are rare thus if you find us, give us a chance or a second look. ;)