It's been a long time since I wrote on my blog. That's life and sometimes life trow you a ball thus knock you on the head or you hit a home run. Or a better way yet it's like a roller coaster with it's ups and downs.
At this moment, I got hit by a ball while being in the way down of a roller coaster. Yes, life sucks big time at this time of my personal life. My point is you must find the positive in a negative situation. That's very hard but possible if you can take a step back. I'm trying very, very, very hard.
It does not start with friendship first!
Now that my philosophic commentary is done, I will now talk about something that many women do as a mistake while searching for their soul mate on dating sites or on phone version. Yes, ladies, this bachelor is also looking for his soul mate in those places too. The mistake I read/hear often is a woman saying: "It start with friendship first". Big mistake ! ! !
My personnel experience
I'm going to write about one of my personnel experience of this past year. Hopefully, you will learn from that(positive) or at the very least be more prepared if this situation ever happen to you. That goes for men too. So, here I go.
Last year, I meet a young woman for business since I created a site for her. We became very close friend only very fast. We were often together(business/personnel occasions with/without her 2 kids) that her partners were jealous of our close friendship. Heck, I was way more fat/out of shape back then that I was not even a threat to them on the romantic side. I'm not even a "player". Yes, the exterior is important but also what's inside of a person. Those guys were not ugly but not great inside since they mostly wanted one thing from her ...thus did not stay long in her life.
Being a beautiful woman, I was not indifferent to her. At some point and being with her often, my feelings were mixed up that I thought I was in love with the whole woman that she was. I saw her inside too but knew that it would not work between us that I wanted to be a true friend for her. I did helped her a lot in her time of needs/health crisis. Plus, I was hoping that the next man was not a jerk like the others. Some came close but no cigars. A few months later, our friendship ended very badly. She ended it.
A week or so later, since I had more time, I started dating(phone) more again. That's when I really knew that it was not love but a deep friendship I had for her. She could had been a real "wing woman". But, that's the sad part of life of losing a friend.
Today, she is my "life" in a way that I don't want to. I'm not going into specific but it's a very very very stressful time for me for the last few months because of an old misconception/idea she has about me. I only hope she will take a step back and see how wrong she is. She is hurting her self and many others because of that misconception.
Btw, we were not looking to be each other soul mates but serves as an example of friendship with the opposite sex.
What about dating and friendship?
Now back to my statement: It Does Not Start With Friendship!
I will be direct here : You forgot you are talking to men!
You want a partner to share your life so both of you must be attracted physically to each other first. Then yes, friendship, affinities, same goals in life are important for a serious relationship. That's the point of view from a man looking for a serious relationship.
For example, I was on the phone for 2 weeks with a woman before seeing her. She first contacted me on Lavalife Voice. All was going great with us but she was not attracted to me when we meet. Of course, it could had been the other way around. But, she waited I finished fixing her computer before telling me that. :p I'm not mad because now, I want to meet them much sooner so not to waste her and my time. Anyway, the true test is in real not virtual.
Is having a friendship only with a woman possible? Despite the above, I will say yes when it's known before hand it's only going to be that. Some women do say they want a male friend only on dating sites and I'm still not oppose to that if affinities are there with woman. It does helps if no mutual attraction is there. ;) But it will save you a deception if you are looking for possible more than friendship.
Also, if it's a friend, don't be too much in each others life so to give both of you a chance to find your soul mates. Being often together did not help in our case. It's a mistake I won't do again but it does not mean I will not help a friend in need.
A true friendship with the opposite sex is a good thing to have when you have one even if it's a few months. That's my positive side getting out here. Plus, if your partner is jealous of it, then it's that he/she does not trust you. And trust is a must for me because I'm loyal!
Btw, I now have a few women phone friend on Lavalife Voice. We can talk for 6-7+ hours strait with my cordless Panasonic KX-TG1033. I love it.
Remember: It start with attraction first then...the rest! But be warned that jerks don't mind if you are not attracted to them. ;)
I still keep hope to find my soul mate one day thus try to find something positive about the date every time I meet a new woman. At the very least, it a new dating story to tell.
If you are single and searching : Good luck to you too!
Keywords: Dating, life